Turns
A personal reflection on living with polyneuropathy—navigating pain, stiffness, and the daily struggle, while discovering balance, resilience, and the courage to receive and love oneself.
Sin H
9/28/2025
And suddenly I find myself writing again. Again. But differently. Turns? Yes. Turns of a body that doesn’t flow, that stops, that tightens.
Turns of the new excuse my mind has to justify the damn leg pain: something called polyneuropathy.
Turns I didn’t ask for, dizzying turns. Tiring turns. Turns that activate fight mode. Fight, yes.
Daily fight. Deactivate stiffness and make space for flow. Daily fight. Send things to the clouds and make space for the sun. Daily fight. Papers here and papers there. Daily fight. Rights.
Turns? No. Always the same. In this, our beloved and privileged first world, rights equal struggle.
Turns? No. Nothing new.
My mind has been occupied managing the non-novelty. Busy.
And yet, in the midst of these turns, my body shows me something else. It shows me that every twist is also an attempt at balance, that every stumble is a rehearsal of strength, that every turn brings a lesson.
And suddenly, I realize. I realize that everything is starting to take shape, to make sense, that my mind is busy and my heart is full, that my voice speaks and my ears listen.
My heart heals.
And my body is less afraid to love itself, even if it hurts. So much time giving, so much time showing, so much time explaining.
Suddenly, I realize it’s time. Time to receive. And we continue. Turns, turns, and more turns.
